$3200 – 2br Duplex, Backyard, Month Free, No Fee and BDSM (Greenpoint Ave. G)

That’s right bargain hunting kinksters!  No fee, month free, private backyard, washer/dryer, dishwasher, two bathrooms and your own dungeon.

Hot apartment action inside…

Into plushie play? Here’s a tranquil pasture for you and your friends to hop around in bunny costumes.

Living and dining and slipping and sliding.

Splosh central.

Wishy washy sissy room.

Cozy bedroom for those post-coital cuddles.

La pièce de la résistance – an ample dungeon for all your lascivious needs.

Second bathroom located in the dungeon for quick and convenient clean-ups.

Game changers. Ready to launder every stain imaginable.

Extra shelves for various accessories.

Large enough for your entire fetish wear wardrobe and/or cubbie boy.

– Heat/hot water included.

– Pets are cool.

– Map here.

Send an email or comment to set up a viewing or be spanked.

$2800 – 3br in luxury’s leggy lap (G’pt Ave. G)

Thanks to my new RE partner and straight shootin’ neighborhood dude, Ion Birch, it’s as if the plumage of the superb bird of paradise has unfurled before me.

Your Greenpoint paradise hideaway-nest awaits your elaborate mating dance:

– Dropped back and yet, sticks out somehow.

– Look, we’re not here to discuss design, taste, art, or artistry so let’s keep it simple – this space is 16’x12′ = 192sf of living room.

– I do like some lucite things.  Kitchen.  DoucheDishwasher too!

– The first of two bathrooms!  Always remember to keep the seats down, please.

– The first of three bedrooms. 12’x9′ = 108sf

– Bedroom number two (huh-huh). 10’x15′ = 150sf of number two!

– The Supreme Master Bedroom with ergonomic office chair. 11’x15′ = 165sf of chair rolling fun.

– I’m pretty sure those nipple spouty things in the tub are jets for [cue the Price is Right theme song] YOUR NEW JACUZZI TUB!

– [Price is Right theme still going] [BARKER] Tell ’em what else they get, Rod! [RODDY] You and guest will be staying at the GRAND CLOSET hotel and casino in beautiful sunny Acapulco, Mexicoooooo!  It’s the only place in town where you’ll find a GRAND CLOSET, in every room.

– [RODDY] All that tubbin’ and scrub-a-dubbin’ will make you wanna do your laundry… IN YOUR NEW WASHER AND DRYER!!!

– Hey, cool out Jack!  A hulking massive floating AC zips that whole house cold when it’s hot.  Baseboard heaters are there for when it’s not.

– Where?

– OH HERE! Next to the Marshall’s impound lot only a short block away from where this apartment lies.  “See ya later honey, I’m goin’ to play pinball down by the car pound!”  Brilliance, in life, although fleeting, exists.

– Heat IS YES ABSOLUTELY INDEED included.

– Gas and electric are not.

– Landlord wants a direct monthly deposit set up in order to receive the benefit of the rent reduction from 3400 to the now 2800.  I know that sounds like bullshit but it’s actually true.

– Available Jan 1, 2010.  HAPPY NEW DECADE!

– Map here.

Obviously we must be respectful of the kind individuals living there now so weekday afternoons around 2p is good to view and so are weekends around 11a.

Comment here and througheth thou shall pass.