Protected: 2,600sf – The Hipster Epcot Center (Bedford L)

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$2400 – 3br: GIGANTOR the Williamsburger! (Nassau G)

WEEW!  Just got a call from the Loft Ninja and he’s so down to join cataclysmic sales and leasing forces with I, Mr. Lister Twister!  (sound of giant explosion happening in the background).

While I haven’t seen with my own mortal eyes, my prescient “chosen one”  mind’s eye has shown me… THIS!

- Ah ha!  A fully formed kitchen.  The quantum particles are all in place and ready to make toast.

- (fingers pressing forcefully into temples) I…I’m making out a door… YES!  A door that leads to other rooms… something which I think… YES!  It’s a hallway!

- Do you smell smoke?  Wait… NO!  That’s a frireplace!  Is it working?  My senses cannot tell but I’ll ask.

- Is a dimensional portal?  NO!  It’s a window in a room, quite possibly best used for a bedroom.  Can’t psychically tell if there’s a closet in here or not… but maybe this is just that “3rd bedroom” that’s really best used as a Mac lab.

- Oh sweet mystery of life… almost positive this is one of the two actual bedrooms.

- My powers of prescience are fading… this is either another shot of the “through-the-doorway” angle above or the other of the two bedrooms.  DAMN YOU UNIVERSE!!!

- Available asap.

- Not sure about heat/hot water but like most places in the G’pt/W’brg borderlands, it’s not.

- Map here.

Use the comment box to access my thoughts and I’ll send you a psychic email.

$1800 – Studio of Ft. Greeneness (Fulton G, Lafayette C)

Hey!  Ho!  Wadda ya know?  Got another studio, yo-yo-yo!

Regardez.

- It’s a bit dim because it was like 7pm and I wasn’t using the flash but you can get a halfway decent feel for the space.   I mean, it’s a studio… what were you expecting?  Did that sound jerky?  I meant, “it’s a studio… um… okay?”

-KA-YOOT kitchen.  Simply precious.  Here you can make dainty little meals for yourself nonstop.

- La douche.  That’s French for “shower.”  Here you can douche yourself… or as we Americans say, “shower yourself.”

- PA-LENTEEE of room for a boogie board and the ephemera of your wanderings.  Just look at those hand built shelves!  They’re staying so don’t worry yourself.

- Just think how spooky it’ll be on Halloween night when the sun sets and casts this eerie twilight glow through your awesome old school small-paned window and you’ll be all set to go in your hand-made chain mail knight outfit and you’ll give out a battle cry that shakes the Masonic temple down the street as you venture out on an eve of all hallows!

MUHUHAAHAHAH!

- Heat and hot water included (electricity is not but it’s like $9/month).

- Available as soon as you are.

- Map here.

Comment, brave knight, and ye’ shall be challenged!

$2100 – 2br SNEAK FREAK (Graham L & Nassau G)

Trying out this iPhone app thingy ding dong.

The following is a place in one of my really good friend/biz partner’s buiding on the 3rd floor of this absolute gem of an old school Greenpoint pre-war apartment.

Entrée!

Since I can’t caption everything like I’m used to, just know that the craftsmanship is all by hand, original details preserved, and there are windows throughout.

While a single person or tasteful couple could live here quite comfortably, the potential for it to function as a share is imminently possible.

- Available Aug. 1, 2009.

- Pets are Jim Dandy.

- Not sure about utilities yet.

- Located on the corner of Newton St. and McGuinness Blvd.

Comment and ye shall receive your dues.

$2750 – 1br Grand Accomodations on Grand (Bedford L)

This crib still has the good vibes from its last tenant (my friend and brilliant writer).  It’s a 1br loft, mega luxurious, titanic windows, laundry hookups, dishwasher… the whole nine.

Shall we have a look-see?

- This is a pretty good overview of what you’ve got – sleeping loft up above the kitchen, fully stocked and new kitchen, and there’s the dining section of your massive, gaping, ginormous living space.

- If you were to sit in the middle of the room and look both ways 180 degrees in opposite directions, this is how the world would look to you in there.

- Admittedly, I’m fetishizing this living room but it’s nearly impossible to capture the enormity of these windows, the light, and the feeling that 18′ ceilings provide.  Oh, and there are two balconies out there – great for parades!

- This is where you put your bed.  Not sure of the dimensions but you can totally squeeze a queen sized frame in there.

- This is where you put your clothes… and a guest lodger if necessary… it’s huge in there.

- Back to back kitchen views!  The one on the left is a little bit closer up so you can feast your eyes on your NEW DISHWASHER!  No more dish pan hands!

- Just in case you didn’t believe me, here’s the washer/dryer hookups.  These babies are rare.

- What lux condo rental would be complete wihout a hyper-modern bathroom?  So inviting…

- Available 2/1/09

- Heat/hot water not included.  Sorry

- Map here.

Comment on this post and I’ll get right back to ya!

$2700 – Stacked 3br Stoner Palace in Billyberg (Bedford L)

Yup, that’s a wheelchair in there…  not because anyone’s disabled but because three totally awesome stoner college dudes live in there and have all kinds of oddities and stuff tacked to the walls (Lil’ Kim t-shirt, skateboard decks, “art”, etc.).

What lies beneath the facade of this Judd Apatow set is:

- A Swiss Family Robinson-style railroad with lofted beds all over the place (sorry, no rope swings or monkey servants).
- Two separate entrances so only one roommate gets traffic.
- Manhattan skyline views for those moments around 4:30 when Dark Side is blasting and your gaze needs somewhere to float.
- A bathroom that’s been sufficiently “dudeified” but according to the tenants “blasts hot water nicely.”
- Kitchen appliances that have seen many a charred ramen noodle and condiment encrustation.
- But here’s the clincher: WINDOWS IN EVERY ROOM!!! YESSS!
- Available August 1st.

If I were you (thrifty, social, and stonery Williamsburger), I’d comment so you can see it.

View the map here.

$2400 – Double Fudge Frosting on B’brg Cupcakes (Graham L)

These are the twin sisters of mercy on the pastoral street of the “protected” Graham Ave. section of Williamsburg.  Not much negativity coming from me on these goodies:

- Newer than new renovation not done completely shamelessly.
- Granite counter tops and all new appliances in the well designed kitchens.
- One bathroom per unit (kinda smallish) but has full tubs for those once-a-year baths.
- Private partitioned backyard for the first floor lucky ducks.
- Square footage to square dance in.
- Enough light to tan indoors.

The first floor unit is going for 2500/month because of it’s backyard action but these are the kind of places you and the family could happily move into, perfect for a share, and a happy couple would be 10x happier.

View map here.

$1800 – Berg-a-licious Studio (Bedford L)

Haven’t seen it myself but a trusted compadre did.  All I know is what I see…

- Nice and clean studio apartment.
- Spitting distance from the Bedford L (please don’t try it).
- Eco heater thingy.
- Shared courtyard (unit is in the back house).

Again, this could be gone, but then again, it may not.  Comment!

View map here.

$1900 – B’berg Backyard Action (Graham L)

Not too shabby of a place for the price…

- Sizable 4 room railroad layout.
- Shady backyard with a Weber just chillin there.
- Sunny bedroom.
- Eat-in kitchen.

You could probably work this out as a two bedroom if:

1.) One of you doesn’t mind sleeping in the living room separated by a hippie tarp.
2.) Having your roommate walking through your “bedroom” to get to his/hers.
3.) Using the backyard as your common space… might be uncomfortable in the snow (depending on your tastes).

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$1600 – Bob Barker Special! (Nassau G/Graham L)

If price is the bottom line for you, this unit has some bang for that buck:

- Sunny as all hell.
- Street parking (for you gas guzzlers)
- Short walk to the Graham L and even shorter to the Nassau G.
- Storage galore.
- Square footage for sprawling.
- Stupendous landlord (my old one in fact).

I didn’t try to alliterate those superlatives but it just came out that way. Have a peep at the pics and give a shout!

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