Category Archives: Pets are COOL!

$2900 – 2br w/Private PARTY-O (Greenpoint Ave. G)

Lovers and friends, a glimpse of Greenpoint’s living end.

Have a party:

- A triple window play for maximum living room pleasure.

- Less kitch, more in.

- Do graphs, play boxes, or contemplate the grid while refreshing.

- A perch in the trees with a calm leafy breeze.  A bedroom fit for a kingfisher.

- Charming and quaint, a craphole this ain’t.  Bedroom #2 pour vous.

- Patio.  Party-o.  Let’s dance.  It’s private.

- Available May 1st, 2012.

- Pets are totally cool.

- Heat/hot water included but that’s about it.

- Map here.

Drop me an email limerick or comment on this post for a guided tour by your host.

$1600 – 1br Sci-Fi Weirdness (Greenpoint Ave. G)

Nanu-nanu!  Up for some more interplanetary real estate?

Beams me ups!

greenpoint_1br_living

- Above is your living room and what you see upon entry… feels a little like wandering onto the set of THX-1138.

greenpoint_1br_bedroom

- Master Control… FINISH THE GAME!   Tron reference.  Um… this is the “bedroom.”  (Play Twilight Zone theme music here.)

greenpoint_1br_kitchen

- Are we there yet?

greenpoint_1br_bathroom

- I’ll be in the tub if you need me.

greenpoint_1br_closet

- You read all the way down to the end of this post only to find a picture of a closet.  SUCKER!!!  Jk.  It’s a closet.  Okay, wrap it up, punchy.

- Available April 1st.

- Doesn’t seem that the landlord is paying for much or any in the way of heat and/or hot water.  Zoinkers.

- Pets RULE!

- A moonwalk from the Greenpoint Ave G.  I’m not going into the G’s defense but if you time it right, it’s there.

- Map here.

Comment now if you can even stand to at this point.

$2600 2br | $2700 2br | $4500 3br Duplex – Java Overflow! (Greenpoint Ave. G)

Space, separation, and a salmon exterior. It’s all waiting for you in Greenpoint.

Swim upstream.

- Lox me up and throw away the key!  Salmony puns aside, that porch could belong to you should you choose the epically huge duplex in this not-so-fishy house.

$2600 & $2700 2brs

- Spacious city with lots of illumination in the main kitchen/living space.

- Bedroom #1.  Clean, cool, calm and collected.

- Bedroom #2.  As above, so below.  The bedrooms in both of these 2br units are identical except for their orientation.  The ones with two windows switch places from the second to the third floor units.  Other than that, these two apartments are perfect twins.

- Glistening, sparkling, grouted, and new.  Have a party!

- Another look at the kitchen.  Sweet supports under the countertop.

$4500 br Duplex

- Lots of stuff in this main living space including a Ghostbusters proton pack but most importantly, it contains the door which leads out onto your front porch.  FRONT PORCH!

- Prrreeeettttyyyy sure this is the kitchen space but I could be wrong.  If not, it’ll be a room.  Duh.

- Almost certain this will be a bedroom.  Again, I’m baffled by mid-construction sites most of the time.  We can deduce logically the next time we view together.

- I’m CERTAIN this is a bathroom.  The mummified manatee in the tub will likely be removed.

- Since this rad dude was down here carving up tiles with a wet saw, it was super loud and slightly difficult to tell what was going to happen down here on the lower level.  For sure there’s a bathroom but the wildcard is that it might be the kitchen(!!!)

- Lots of goodies in here but most of all, a WASHER/DRYER!  YESSS!!!  It should be noted that this “lower level” is actually the street level, not subterranean.

-  A private patio and backyard!?  You don’t say.  Well, according to the landlord, the upper two units will also have some sort of access to part of the yard.  Not entirely sure how this all will shake out but for now, BOOM, a yard.

- Available April 15th.

- Have to double check but I’ll go ahead and say heat and hot water are included.

- Pets are hecka cool!

- Map here.

Give an olde email or comment to have a gander of your own.

$3300 – 3br Down on Greenzy Street (Greenpoint Ave. G)

Three bedrooms of glorious splendor for the eye to behold, for your junk to unload.

Drop it.

- An interesting overhead lighting fixture decision here in the kitchen/living space… something like “dungeon de rigeur.”  Can’t hate on the new appliances though.

- Bedroom #1.  Four walls, some outlets, a closet (I think), a window, dark wood floors… it needs your soul.

- Bedroom #2.  Angular.

- Bedroom #3.  Complete with not one but TWO windows.  More places to wave from.

- Head on with the kitchen.  The dishwasher is waiting to make things easier on you.

- At last, toilet lid agape, the bathroom of ultimate luxury awaits your tender caress… so modern, so inviting.

- Available April 1st.

- Pets are poppin’!

- Not 100% sure on utilities but lets assume heat/hot water are included.

- Map here.

Use that email thing or leave a comment if you’re interested in seeing first hand.

$4000 – Titanic Loft Rises from the Depths (Greenpoint Ave. G)

Love on the bow of the good ship Greenpoint is imminently possible atop the freshly swabbed decks of this titanic loft.

Ahoy!

Wicked huge.  Plenty of space for your collection of beer coozies from around the globe.
Great for home bowling or ice-free curling (semi-pro).
“For the wise man looks into space and he knows there is no limited dimensions.” – Lao Tzu
Indoor lawn darts anyone?  Nerf bocce?  Life-sized Settlers of Catan?  I’m game.
Even with all that space, one might still find oneself in need of a bathroom.  Not surprisingly, there is one.
Preparing meals never felt so colossal.  Feel free to use this kitchen to cater an event of epic proportions in your own home.
- Available now.  Don’t let this ship sail without you.
- Pets, obviously, are fine.  You can breed Rotweillers in there if you wish.
- Map here.

Send me a message in a bottle or click here if you’re interested.

$4250 – Duplex Office + Loft = Duploftice (Bedford L)

The problem:  You’ve been pining away for a live/work loft in Williamsburg since the 90s.  Everything’s either been too grungy, too small, too shady or too remote.

The solution:  See below.

- This is what you see when you first walk in.  Dark wood plank floors, modern open kitchen with a balcony.
- A closer look at that balcony.
- Another angle of the kitchen.  There’s the door on the 3rd floor you just walked up to (sorry, no elevator).
- Swing around the corner and you’re in your bedroom.  Sprawling, bright, epic views of the Manhattan skyline.
- Turning around you’re bound for the walk-through full bathroom.
- This is the office space through the bathroom also connected to the kitchen.  This is where master plans are made.
- Sweet!  Can we go upstairs now?  Sure.
- Oh, so there’s a HUGE room up here with insane views, a private roof deck, another bathroom, separate entrance and two closets?  Yup.
- Not a bad spot for an entertainment set-up.
- Half bath for your showering convenience.
- Custom closets make things much neater.
- From the railing looking back on your future chill/work zone.
- Now from the other direction.  Private.  Epic.
- Available October 1st, 2011.
- Heat/hot water are paid for by tenant.  Cooking gas is included.
- 1100 sq.ft.
- It’s a 3rd floor walk-up so get ready to schlep.
- Located here.
- Comment on this post to set up an appointment.  Thank ya!

$1900-4200 – Hello Greenpoint! I want to move to you! (G’pt Ave. G.)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, your ship has at last come in.

The new building full of brand spanking new gorgeous rentals on Kent St. x West St. and Franklin are available. And guess who can get you in there first… (?)

Show ‘em what they’ve got, Rod:

- From the outside, a completely respectable reno.  Sand blasted brick and subtle detail restoration of what was the “original” pencil factory.

1br w/Private Outdoor Space

- Polished poured concrete floors and a skylight gives you some serious glow for this ground floor 1br with outdoor space.  Built-in AC units keeping things chill in here but the rest of the building has central air/heat.
- There’s your private entrance to your private patio outdoor space of total serenity.
- This be the actual bedroom of the 1br we be discussing here.  Sleeps one comfortably, two preferred (wink-wink)… or three? Naughty naughty!
- All the bathrooms, aside from the half baths, are like this.  Full tub, sinks with drawers, toilet seats with plastic covers on them.
- The developers of this place actually got it right – DEEP closets all over every unit.  In the bedrooms, in the hallways.  Explore your inner hoarder.
- You’ll need to squint and use your imagination slightly here.  Aside from it being slightly blurry, there will one day be a nice new energy-efficient fridge and dishwasher in those large gaps to the left and right of the frame.  Otherwise, this is basically the kitchen layout for all the units.  Bon appetite!
1br Upper Floor
- Hellllloooo?  Echo!!!!  Sloth… love… Chunk!!!  There are some 1brs in this building that can convert to 2brs because they’re so damn huge.  This is one example.
- An 180 degree turn to the left from the above photo reveals this.  In between those two windows along the right side is where a pressure wall could be installed to add another bedroom.  Up to you.
- A peak around the archway reveals the bedroom in which you may find yourself sleeping soundly.  While window does happen to face Kent St., I don’t think a car has driven down it since the late 1800s.
- If I may interject a moment of reality here, heat and cool are controlled by the tenant in all units… which means they are paid for by the tenant.  If you keep it at off all the time, you won’t pay a dime.
1br w/Balcony & City Views
- Ok, back to the fun and excitement.  View-oooo-oooooos!  This unit will have a balcony where you can hang out with your coffee and terry cloth leisure suit.
- The living room… oh, and there’s the door to that balcony I was telling you about.
- Some more imagination kitchen.  These are done now so when we view, you won’t have to envision anything.
- It’s like a spa in here.
2br Duplex w/Private Outdoor Space
- Yup.  Duplexes.  Crazy space and a second floor for office, recreation, and parties when your parents go out of town.
- Another look at the main room and hallway.  That banged up door on the left leads to your private patio shangri-la.
- This is the stairwell of another duplex also on the ground floor but you can see how these units are all very different.  Lots of possibilities for good livin… for instance, here you can stage your own performance of Macbeth.
- This is the living room attached to the photo above.  Dope.
- “Yeah, hi, I’m gonna need two closets right next to each other.”  Sure, no problem.
- Again, heat/cool not included (sorry Charlie).
- Prices are not fully determined but 1bs are between 1900-3200 and the 2brs go as high as 4200 but that’s the ceiling.
- Move-in is looking like mid-September but could be November 1st.
- Map here.
Give me a holler or comment on this post if you’d like to view.  I’ll be there all day Thursday 8/25 giving special guided tours if you’re around.

$1100 & 1900 – Two studio lofts: One scary. One nice. (Clinton/Washington G)

I do so love the Navy Yard.  Hard to say why.  Good memories there I guess.

Wanna see the nice one or the scary one first?

Studio – $1900/m

- Oh.  Hmm…

- Dzzzamn.  Pepto bismol plywood floors could use some treatment but hell, not too shabby.

- There’s that corner with the kitchen appliances in it.  A fridge looms off to the right, staring coldly at us.

- An actual bathoom, not barf room.

- You will be sleeping up on one of these but…

- …from one angle you’ve got the coolest building in the Navy Yard…

- …and from the other you’ve got a very Brooklynie scene with a lot of sky and light and space.

- Heat/hot water included.

- It’s a 5 story walk-up, just so ya know.

- Available now.

- Pets are cool.

- Map here.

Ready for the scary one?

Studio – $1100/m

- So that’s fake rolled out wood flooring with some halfway decent light I guess.  Clearly there’s some art happening here.  So… where’s the bathroom?

- Oh, hello.  So, is there a… toilet?

- Woah.  Ok.  Sink?

- Got it.  And there’s a stove just there around the corner near the frying pan.  Where do you sleep?

- In the hallway?  That tunnel actually passes all the way through the flag into some wonktified version of a closet.

- Unit’s located the ground floor in case that freaks you out even more.

- Heat/hot water included.

- Pets are cool but where do you put ‘em?

- Available May 1st, 2010.

- Map here.

Commenteth and ye shall vieweth.

$2000 – 1br honeyed Graham crackers (Graham L)

Oh, how I miss the kind and gentle folk of the Graham Avenue section of Williamsburg.  Café Capri, Emily’s Pork Store, Fanny, Daddy’s, Fortunato Bros.  And how bout all those newfangled yummy places?  Mother’s, Motorino, Mesa Coyoacan, Variety Café, Sel de Mer.  It’s endless food hedonism and sensory enjoyment!

Here’s where you can now live:

- Now there’s a living room that just says, “Hey!  Live in me!”

- Woah… I know this looks just a horizontally flipped version of the one above but, I kid you not, it’s the bedroom.  Those sliding doors actually do access a private balcony that you can use to go between both rooms when you get bored of using the doorway.

- KERSPLOOOSHH!!!  The open lid is inviting you.

- If conjuring is your bag, this is where you can prepare your culinary alchemy.  Plenty of room to brew kombucha up on that cabinetry.

- It’s a shared yard but damn!  Definitely salubrious.

- Another look from the ground level.  I’d totally grill out here.

- I can personally attest to the landlord being freakin’ awesome because I lived in one of his buildings. He’s really my favorite landlord of all time.

- Available June 1st (maybe May 1st if you can make up your mind by April 15th).

- Heat/hot water included.

- Pets are a-ok.

- Map here.

If you want a look, leave a comment ‘n stuff!

$1499 & 1899 – 1br vs. “2br” and it makes me wonder (Greenpoint Ave. G)

Happy Passover y’all!  If real estate inevitably came up as a topic at last nights Sadr, here’s something you can ponder at the next one – How do two identical apartments have a difference in rent of $400, the more expensive having no closets?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

Unit D – $1499

- This hallway actually takes you back in time.

- Pretty much as standard as standard living rooms come.  I mean, there’s a window(?)

- Positioned in the rear of the building, I’ll say this is a very quiet place to put your bed.  That radiator makes things crazy cozy in here too.

- Not one but TWO closets, one in the bedroom and one in the hallway.  SAWEEET!

- Not the worst place to do your duty.

- Sufficient to say I was blown away to find a dishwasher in here.  There’s actually enough room to put a little breakfast table.  Quaint.

- Heat/hot water are INCLUDED.

- Pets are totally cool.

- Available nowish.

- Map here.

Unit C – $1899

- The layout is completely different in this one located directly next door to the unit described above.  Square footage-wise, I couldn’t detect a lick of difference.  Anyway, here’s the living room.

- Here’s one of the bedrooms or whatever you wanna call it.  Where’s the closet?

- Yet another room technically recognized as a bedroom but it’s anybody’s guess what to actually do with it.  Um, will we be seeing a closet in here at some point?

- Again, totally acceptable albeit cramped.

- Okay so I’ve been through this place twice now and no sign of ANY closets.  The kitchen cabinets and some hooks by the front door are the only indications that the management cares if people store their stuff off the floor.  I’m still dumbfounded that they sprung for a dishwasher but couldn’t squeeze in a damn closet… and $400 bucks more than the place next door?  Nuh-uh.

- Heat/hot water INCLUDED.

- Pets are totally cool.

- Available nowish.

- Map here.

Leave your comments as they’re not only useful in making me giggle but so I can respond to you if you actually want to view these spots.