Can’t tell you who I showed it to already because you’d be too jealous to read on.
- WHAM-O! Big ass living room. Corner unit with windows everywhere overlooking a freakin’ sculpture garden! Supremely rad.
- Here’s that sculpture garden… I ain’t lyin!
- Kitchen’s totally acceptable in my book, and my book was written by Jaques Pepin! Plus with all those yummers restaurants around this spot, who needs to cook? You’ve got Nicki’s Bahn Mi, Caracas arepas, tons of ramen, Neopolitana… and that’s just off the top of my head.
- Super spacious bedroom with heater/cooling unit. Fake brick, I know, but who gives a rat’s ass? It’s dope in here!
- Bedroom closet, y’all. Great for your clothes or small guests.
- The bathroom. Great for washing up!
- Yup! Totally shared courtyard wonderfully maintained with grills awaiting your marinated eggplants.
- Sill can’t tell you who it is but this place ALSO has a roof deck.
- Not sure if heat/hot water are included yet.
- Not sure about pets either but I’ll update soon.
The math totally works on this one – three people, less than $1,000 each AND heat/hot water are included.
Say WORD!
- Living space. The final frontier.
- Dinner party anyone? Kitchen is OPEN for business! “Hey man, you need help with those dishes.” Nope. No worries, man… I got a damn dishwasher.
- Bedroom 1: Looks like FUN!
- Bedroom 2: Squibbily doo!
- Bedroom 3: Maybe not for me because it’s a little teeny-weeny. But if you have to pee, you’ll be singin’ tweedily DEE [because it's right near the bathroom...]
- …which is right here. Majorly into the foggy-glass-window-in-the-shower thing and the black/white tiles. Save a few bucks, our fragile ocean marine habitat, and some hundreds of thousands of years not having to bio-degrade PVC shower cutrains too.
South Slope is still the mild mild west but there’s always the random troubadour who’s dying to get in on one of these slightly run down, relatively cental, quite spacious places.
Come hither…
- Pretty giant-sized kitchen/living space. Guess those high Cylon-eye windows are so you can forget about the squalor that is 4th Ave.
- Kitchen and yes, a dishwasher. Tada!
- A sliver of a bathroom but it’s all ready for you to clean it, Mr. Swiffer!
- I found this bedroom rather difficult to photograph because it’s such a long and somewhat narrow room. So there’s the first angle…
- …and there’s the other.
- Utilities are NOT included. Lame.
- Laundry is on the corner. Not too bad.
- Pets gotta be cool… how could the landlord deny you the companionship of a pet.
Some may call this the “nice part” of Bed Stuy. Everything’s clean, no syringes or used condoms in the park, the brownstones are impeccably kept and the neighbors actually wave and say hello. It’s light years from anything resembling a Brooklyn scene except for that stuff happening on Lewis Ave… but then again, isn’t that why you’re moving?
Follow closely this tour of your future home:
LOWER DUPLEX (2br – $1800)
- We’ll start from the ground floor and work our way up. This is the first room you see when you walk in under the front stoop. Likely it’s to be used as your main living area with plenty of space and mellow light.
- Newly renovated ground floor kitchen from one angle…
- Long table with inviting stools in the ground floor kitchen from the other angle. And that’s the door to your…
- …private back yard. There’s the essence of cat piss back there but the landlord, a kind and insanely friendly woman, has promised to mend a broken section of the fence and repour the concrete. Lot’s of growing space under some pretty trees.
- And don’t worry about hauling your rusty-ass hibachi over… there’s a freakin’ new Weber that the previous tenants left for you (shown “regular” and “trippy” style). You’re welcome.
- Now that you’ve come down off your “we’re getting a backyard with a grill!” high, we’re ready to schlep up the stairs to your other private floor where the bedrooms be at. This is the one in the back of the house.
- This is the totally excellent shelving unit built into the closet in the aforementioned and aforepictured bedroom.
- This is the incredibly cute half bath found in the aforementioned/aforepictured bedroom above.
- As soon as you’re ready to blow everyone’s mind when you say, “Welcome to my bedroom,” you can totally use this room for the backdrop. All original molding, lighting fixtures, mirror, shelving and stained glass can be found in this front bedroom on the 1st floor. Pimp shit.
- Lily white porcelain parlour for your pleasure still here on the 1st floor. Now let’s head on up to the 2nd…
UPPER DUPLEX (3br – $1850)
- Too difficult to photograph adequately with my little Lumix even with the 16:9 aspect ratio setting, this is the 2nd floor living room with crazy light.
- Clean and skuzz free. 2nd floor bathroom all shiny and new.
- Here’s where my memory starts to get a little weak… can’t remember if this bedroom is on the 2nd or 3rd floors. Alas, it’s part of the UPPER DUPLEX and you can easily fit a large bed in there.
- This might be the only bummer thing about the UPPER DUPLEX. Kind of a smallish kitchen but I know it’s on the 3rd floor because of the rad skylight.
- Just when you thought, “How many fireplaces and bedrooms could there possibly be in an $1800/month apartment?”…then you discover this shellacked beauty on the 3rd floor.
- Perhaps the freakiest room in the house. May I present the Oompa Loompa-Children in the Attic-Mommy Dearest Room. Probably good for an office if you can keep the screaming out of your head.
- Heat/hot water controlled and paid for by tenant.
- Not sure about pets but the landlord didn’t seem to excited about the prospect.
Looking at: "$1800 – Studio of Ft. Greeneness (Fulton G, Lafayette C) « I WANNA ROCK!!!" ( http://bit.ly/3hSlND ) http://twitter.com/mrlistertwister1 month ago
Looking at: "$2400 – 3br: GIGANTOR the Williamsburger! (Nassau G) ( http://bit.ly/4jntkd ) http://twitter.com/mrlistertwister1 month ago
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