$4250 – Duplex Office + Loft = Duploftice (Bedford L)

The problem:  You’ve been pining away for a live/work loft in Williamsburg since the 90s.  Everything’s either been too grungy, too small, too shady or too remote.

The solution:  See below.

- This is what you see when you first walk in.  Dark wood plank floors, modern open kitchen with a balcony.

- A closer look at that balcony.

- Another angle of the kitchen.  There’s the door on the 3rd floor you just walked up to (sorry, no elevator).

- Swing around the corner and you’re in your bedroom.  Sprawling, bright, epic views of the Manhattan skyline.

- Turning around you’re bound for the walk-through full bathroom.

- This is the office space through the bathroom also connected to the kitchen.  This is where master plans are made.

- Sweet!  Can we go upstairs now?  Sure.

- Oh, so there’s a HUGE room up here with insane views, a private roof deck, another bathroom, separate entrance and two closets?  Yup.

- Not a bad spot for an entertainment set-up.

- Half bath for your showering convenience.

- Custom closets make things much neater.

- From the railing looking back on your future chill/work zone.

- Now from the other direction.  Private.  Epic.

- Available October 1st, 2011.

- Heat/hot water are paid for by tenant.  Cooking gas is included.

- 1100 sq.ft.

- It’s a 3rd floor walk-up so get ready to schlep.

- Located here.

- Comment on this post to set up an appointment.  Thank ya!

$1900-4200 – Hello Greenpoint! I want to move to you! (G’pt Ave. G.)

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, your ship has at last come in.

The new building full of brand spanking new gorgeous rentals on Kent St. x West St. and Franklin are available. And guess who can get you in there first… (?)

Show ‘em what they’ve got, Rod:

- From the outside, a completely respectable reno.  Sand blasted brick and subtle detail restoration of what was the “original” pencil factory.

1br w/Private Outdoor Space

- Polished poured concrete floors and a skylight gives you some serious glow for this ground floor 1br with outdoor space.  Built-in AC units keeping things chill in here but the rest of the building has central air/heat.

- There’s your private entrance to your private patio outdoor space of total serenity.

- This be the actual bedroom of the 1br we be discussing here.  Sleeps one comfortably, two preferred (wink-wink)… or three? Naughty naughty!

- All the bathrooms, aside from the half baths, are like this.  Full tub, sinks with drawers, toilet seats with plastic covers on them.

- The developers of this place actually got it right – DEEP closets all over every unit.  In the bedrooms, in the hallways.  Explore your inner hoarder.

- You’ll need to squint and use your imagination slightly here.  Aside from it being slightly blurry, there will one day be a nice new energy-efficient fridge and dishwasher in those large gaps to the left and right of the frame.  Otherwise, this is basically the kitchen layout for all the units.  Bon appetite!

1br Upper Floor

- Hellllloooo?  Echo!!!!  Sloth… love… Chunk!!!  There are some 1brs in this building that can convert to 2brs because they’re so damn huge.  This is one example.

- An 180 degree turn to the left from the above photo reveals this.  In between those two windows along the right side is where a pressure wall could be installed to add another bedroom.  Up to you.

- A peak around the archway reveals the bedroom in which you may find yourself sleeping soundly.  While window does happen to face Kent St., I don’t think a car has driven down it since the late 1800s.

- If I may interject a moment of reality here, heat and cool are controlled by the tenant in all units… which means they are paid for by the tenant.  If you keep it at off all the time, you won’t pay a dime.

1br w/Balcony & City Views

- Ok, back to the fun and excitement.  View-oooo-oooooos!  This unit will have a balcony where you can hang out with your coffee and terry cloth leisure suit.

- The living room… oh, and there’s the door to that balcony I was telling you about.

- Some more imagination kitchen.  These are done now so when we view, you won’t have to envision anything.

- It’s like a spa in here.

2br Duplex w/Private Outdoor Space

- Yup.  Duplexes.  Crazy space and a second floor for office, recreation, and parties when your parents go out of town.

- Another look at the main room and hallway.  That banged up door on the left leads to your private patio shangri-la.

- This is the stairwell of another duplex also on the ground floor but you can see how these units are all very different.  Lots of possibilities for good livin… for instance, here you can stage your own performance of Macbeth.

- This is the living room attached to the photo above.  Dope.

- “Yeah, hi, I’m gonna need two closets right next to each other.”  Sure, no problem.

- Again, heat/cool not included (sorry Charlie).

- Prices are not fully determined but 1bs are between 1900-3200 and the 2brs go as high as 4200 but that’s the ceiling.

- Move-in is looking like mid-September but could be November 1st.

- Map here.

Give me a holler or comment on this post if you’d like to view.  I’ll be there all day Thursday 8/25 giving special guided tours if you’re around.

$1400-2800 – 1b and duplex that make Bed Stuy stay alive (Nostrand Ave. A C)

At some point, after passing through two projects and a food desert of grimy bodegas and bullet-proof glass Chinese restaurants, Bed Stuy gets nice.

Here’s where my BMX took me today:

The Bush Doctor!  He whipped me up an almond milk açai berry voodoo drink with cinnemon.  Did me RIGHT!  Apparently he’s making house calls.

That’s Terry, the Bush Doctor’s apprentice and nicest dude I’ve encountered in a while.  He did mention there’ve been about 6 shootings in the area,, drug related mostly.  He also clued me into the fact that all of the great empires since Genghis Khan (including ours) have fallen in Afghanistan and that Bin Laden’s been dead since 1996.

- Delighted and somewhat surprised to see a halfway decent furniture store out here actually.

- And another!

- Word on the street is that Peaches is peachy.  Haven’t tried but I keep a keen ear to the street (((pulls black tar gum out of hair))).

- Evidently, Big George’s is no longer serving soulfood “plus.”  It wasn’t clear to me what exactly was going on there actually.  I don’t read too deeply into these things.  M’kay, enough neighborhood highlights, let’s look at where you can live.

Halsey St. 1b – $1400/m

- Kind of a cacophony in there but give the girl a break, she’s moving!

- Detail of where you could plop your hiney once settled.

- I do relish this kitchen.  Cozy, tiled, nice light, good appliances.  Très satisfaisant.

- Pah-lenty of room for that big ‘ol sleigh bed of yours.

- The tub’s feet aren’t molded claws but hell, it’s just as amazing!  I’d be bathing constantly.

- The tasteful Argentine owner collects really nice furniture and is willing to donate this to the unit.  My friend Kate seems to think this looks like something that should be in the lounge at a Thai restaurant but then again, she was about to buy a saggy-ass black leather sofa off CL just because it was cheap. Sheesh!  Right now the couche in her duplex which is also for rent.  (see below)

Halsey St. 2br Duplex – $2800/m

- Livin’ good in da hood.  Super charming, original details, bright.  (((sigh)))

- Really?  Sick kitchen.  There’s another huge wall of shelves off the edge of the frame to the left.  So sick.

- Mmmmhmmmm.  Elevated patio to make you feel haughty on Halsey.

- Oh… what’s that down there?  A f’n massive lawn, grow space, and grill to serve the better part of the block.  Could use a little grass seed and some love in the planters but it’s still early in the season, y’all.  Don’t hate.

- Half bath on the first floor for when you wanna use a little sink.

- Now we’re on the “du” of the “plex.” I generally feel bad taking pics of people’s bedrooms when they’re still sleeping in them but this is the owner’s and she said it was cool.  I just really like how it’s both a workspace and a sleep space.  Those shutters are dope.  And the ironwork?  Tight.

- I didn’t check to see what the feet were like on the tub because I didn’t want to seem like a freak but fuggit.  Again, it’s an elevated enameled tub that you can submerge in.  Need I say more?

- If this is where your roommate lives, they’re sure to pay the rent on time.  If this is your guest room, your guests are sure to return.

- One last peek at the yard from the ground level.

- 1br is available May 1st.  Duplex can be made available starting May 1st.

- Heat/hot water included.

- Pets are fine (I think, I need to check on that for sure).

- Map here.

Would LEURVE to hear your comments about this.  It’s also how I know you’re interested in viewing, k?

$1800 – TWO 2br duplexes in a friggin’ SICK HOUSE (Halsey St. J)

Some may call this the “nice part” of Bed Stuy.  Everything’s clean, no syringes or used condoms in the park, the brownstones are impeccably kept and the neighbors actually wave and say hello.  It’s light years from anything resembling a Brooklyn scene except for that stuff happening on Lewis Ave… but then again, isn’t that why you’re moving?

Follow closely this tour of your future home:

LOWER DUPLEX (2br – $1800)

- We’ll start from the ground floor and work our way up.   This is the first room you see when you walk in under the front stoop.  Likely it’s to be used as your main living area with plenty of space and mellow light.

- Newly renovated ground floor kitchen from one angle…

- Long table with inviting stools in the ground floor kitchen from the other angle.  And that’s the door to your…

- …private back yard.  There’s the essence of cat piss back there but the landlord, a kind and insanely friendly woman, has promised to mend a broken section of the fence and repour the concrete.  Lot’s of growing space under some pretty trees.

- And don’t worry about hauling your rusty-ass hibachi over… there’s a freakin’ new Weber that the previous tenants left for you (shown “regular” and “trippy” style).  You’re welcome.

- Now that you’ve come down off your “we’re getting a backyard with a grill!” high, we’re ready to schlep up the stairs to your other private floor where the bedrooms be at.  This is the one in the back of the house.

- This is the totally excellent shelving unit built into the closet in the aforementioned and aforepictured bedroom.

- This is the incredibly cute half bath found in the aforementioned/aforepictured bedroom above.

- As soon as you’re ready to blow everyone’s mind when you say, “Welcome to my bedroom,” you can totally use this room for the backdrop.  All original molding, lighting fixtures, mirror, shelving and stained glass can be found in this front bedroom on the 1st floor. Pimp shit.

- Lily white porcelain parlour for your pleasure still here on the 1st floor.  Now let’s head on up to the 2nd…

UPPER DUPLEX (3br – $1850)

- Too difficult to photograph adequately with my little Lumix even with the 16:9 aspect ratio setting, this is the 2nd floor living room with crazy light.

- Clean and skuzz free.  2nd floor bathroom all shiny and new.

- Here’s where my memory starts to get a little weak… can’t remember if this bedroom is on the 2nd or 3rd floors.  Alas, it’s part of the UPPER DUPLEX and you can easily fit a large bed in there.

- This might be the only bummer thing about the UPPER DUPLEX.  Kind of a smallish kitchen but I know it’s on the 3rd floor because of the rad skylight.

- Just when you thought, “How many fireplaces and bedrooms could there possibly be in an $1800/month apartment?”…then you discover this shellacked beauty on the 3rd floor.

- Perhaps the freakiest room in the house.  May I present the Oompa Loompa-Children in the Attic-Mommy Dearest Room.  Probably good for an office if you can keep the screaming out of your head.

- Heat/hot water controlled and paid for by tenant.

- Not sure about pets but the landlord didn’t seem to excited about the prospect.

- Available now.

- Map here.

Post a comment and ye shall receive further instructions on how to obtain a lease for this prize property.