$1675 – Greasemonkey Paradise (Greenpoint Ave. G)

While one of the lovliest commodes I’ve seen about town, it doesn’t quite save this botched up slosh job of a Polsky finger bang reno.  There is an absolutely enchanted backyard clearly well maintained by the previous dog-owning tenants but I still can’t see how they both slept in what defies my descriptive gifts -  essentially, it’s a pantry.

We’re all over the place with Willy Wonky’s Funged-Up Freak Show so stay with me:

- Just steps away from every kind of automotive repair you’ll ever need.
- In the hulking shadow of the Newtown Creek Sewage Treatment Facility’s alien digestor eggs (nothing thrills me more than to think of giant digestor eggs down my block… so sci-fi).
- Hope you like ladders because you’ll be climbing one to get to your “fort” every night (truly must be seen to be beieved).
- A deep and haunting hallway leads into a beautiful Brooklyney parlor with wide plank floors.
- Crackheaded kitchen with slop sink on one side, cheap particle board shelves, and munged up appliances on the other.
- Beatific backyard that almost makes life worth it’s proximity to the Pootown Creek Funk Factory.
- Available August 1st.

Comment now!

PS. My gratitude to the cute upstairs neighbor who so kindly helped inspire some of my observations.

View map here.